Privacy Policy
“With thanks to Writers’ HQ, our supreme writing commanders, glorious leaders and excellent but tiny overlords, who have verily granted us permission to use their splendid and sweary Privacy Policy.”
Visitor tracking
Look, I'm following you, ok? I use Google Analytics, primarily to stare at the real time stats because they’re cool but also to see what stuff people looking at so I can understand what people want to see more of on my site.
I also have the Facebook Pixel installed. The Facebook Pixel means that I can see how people interact with my site and with Facebook adverts and then I can tailor Facebook adverts to a relevant audience. If you’ve not seen the Facebook Ads analytics dashboard MAN ALIVE it’s stalker central. That shit is a terrifying Black Mirror horror show. If you’re not on Facebook – well bloody done but the pixel is tracking you anyway.
Don’t know if there’s a specific Facebook Pixel blocking thing but I accidentally discovered that if you use Freedom app to block social media while you’re working it also blocks the FB pixel. Handy hints!
None of the above stores any super personal data about you but probably they nab your IP address, not that Id know where to look for it or what to do with it. All I see is that a person or many people have interacted with the website in a particular way. You can mess with us by doing something totally unexpected on the website and skewing my stats. Or you could do something way more fun and useful with your time!.
Cookies
Seriously who actually cares? Do you even know what a cookie is or does? Well then. Yes I use cookies because that’s kinda how the Internet works. If you don’t want my delicious home-baked chocolate chip scripts, then you need to block cookies on your browser but don’t come crying to me when nothing does what it’s supposed to.
Data storage
DATA!! It’s all about the data, baby. A literal fuck-tonne of petabytes whirring around the world and what? What’s it all for? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? What will future historians actually see of us and our slowly collapsing society? So. I store your data in one place and use it in the following way. You ready for this?
In my gmail email account! If you send me an inquiry, I will store your name and email address in order to reply to you, obviously I go to the maximum effort to keep this data secure and only two people have access to it. Me and the person who manages my website.. I'll be honest: we do absolutely nothing unsurprising or radical with your info.
Social Media and Shiz
I use social media a lot, partly to promote my music but sometimes as a vehicle for expressing opinions on stuff or a bit of banter here and there. If you talk to me on Facebook and I become familiar with you, I might find you on Twitter, Instagram or Soundcloud and say hello. You can ask me to be less friendly if you wish and I will of course respect your boundaries. You are not required to follow my social media accounts.